24 January 2010

sucker II

in the local dunkin donuts restroom, i have washed my hands and turned to dry them at the automatic hand dryer. my eyes rest on its shiny metal surface and this, a million dollar bill, with president rutherford b hayes staring stoically over my left shoulder. obviously a fake, i chuckle to myself as i shake the excess water from my hands. the mint doesn't even print denominations this big, i tell myself as i rub my hands together. probably some sort of prank, i theorize as i hit the dryer button again, just to stall for time. i study the bill but i can't read the fine print. it sure does look like real money. for a brief moment, i forget myself and think someone somewhere may have lost it and is frantically trying to find it. could it hurt to just take it out to the donut counter? to say, hey look what i found in your bathroom? i pick it up. i turn it over. and there on the back is a message about jesus and how he saves. too bad he didn't save me from looking like a damn fool.

35 comments:

Julie, The Wife said...

So the message here is that Rutherford B. Hayes is the portal to Jesus. Who knew? Or is there another message here -
Rutherford B. Hayes : Personal Saver
Jesus : Personal Savior

This is going to consume my day.

Julie, ADayInTheWife.com

Karen said...

I think that's hilarious!

The financial aid office at the college where I work has these flyers that look like folded twenties. It's hilarious how often students try to be sly when picking them up.

... said...

That's my favorite Movie! I love Kate and John and the glove part...! http://www.lonelyhero.com/2009/02/horrible-serendipity-and-good.html

JuniorG said...

ha that's a pretty coool find. With the way inflation is going I wouldn't be surprised if we saw more of those in the future.

debbie said...

Damn and you lost your message . You found it. You had hope. Why blame God for your misfortune. You were in the wrong bathroom.

DBam said...

That was super funny! It is something that would happene to me.

Pat said...

Ah, but did you miss the message? What if Jesus really does save? Save from what, you say? What if we need something...someone... to save us from our sins? Wouldn't a perfect, sinless, God-man, who shed His blood for you be the perfect ticket? How does money compare with the treasures of heaven? Pat
www.thegardenwayfarer.blogspot.com

Saint Schizophrenia said...

It's such a shame that whomever left that lying there didn't put their contact information on it (What if you really wanted to know more about Jesus?) then you could have met with them and poked them in the eye for being such so deceptive and ridiculous.

VIto said...

Hi I just started blogging and I thought that was the most funniest thing I read today. I was not expecting that ending!!! and just for that I have decided to Follow your blogs. Keep me laughing.

bella_luna said...

haha. thats humorous and interesting. this little moments you have when you feel kinda dumb after you do something like that add the laughter and good times to life. :)

chris said...

glad you all found the million dollar bill scenario as funny as i did. i just couldn't help myself! bella_luna, i did feel dumb - but in retrospect i am so glad i decided to pick up the bill because i'd still be wondering about it if i hadn't! julie, it would definitely consume my day!!! thank you, all of you, for your comments - they mean a great deal to me! thanks, vito & others, for following me. i'll see what i can do to keep you laughing - but no promises!
~chris

Abby Burks said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who would respond that way!

Dr. Boo said...

I found one of these stuck in a "Good witch spell book" once upon a time. After being momentarily shocked that someone would go into a public store, take the time to stuff their agenda into books that God-fearing individuals should probably avoid, I removed it. After all, I don't see many aethiests (or wiccans) stuffing anti-God dollar bills into bibles.

Kaytea said...

I too have been a sucker for a folded 20 at the gas pump only to find that "Lose Weight Now" and "Earn What You're Worth" is all it was about.......Someone owes me a 20 dang it.

The Unknowngnome said...

Made me laugh outloud. A good chuckle.

Maria S. said...

That was hilarious. If only they made million dollar bills that we might possibly find in the street that didn't have random Jesus messages on the back. It was your morality that you couldn't help yourself to pick up that bill and hten of course you found that note. These are all things that we will remember throughout our lives.

Maria
http://randomnessinthebrain.blogspot.com

amybradley said...

I hate to admit I think I once found a simalar million dollar at a bus stop. Waiting on my way to work a few years ago in California. I thought it looked so inspirational that I put it in a scrap book, like I do many things, and still have it today! So don't feel too silly. I do things like that all the time!

Anonymous said...

My the Good Lord forgive those born-again Christians for being counterfeiters.

Aleks said...

great stuff ;)

Thats My Thoughts! said...

WOW, seems like that crap always finds us somehow! haha I like how you put it though. I will follow you because you made me laugh! keep it up!

Kerrath said...

I just wanted to point out that it's a 'reserved note'. You couldn't have taken it even if you'd wanted to!

Bob said...

Haha Very Funny!
You were not a fool, just curious

Truth Ferret said...

There's a Mom and Pop store here and right where you enter is a silver dollar on the wooden floor. New kids and a few adults have tried to get the "found riches" off the floor to no avail, as it has been attached with some mighty fine adhesive. It never fails that when the person attempts to pick up the coin, someone is watching and a good laugh ensues. Your encounter with your new found bill reminded me of this.

So it is written... said...

Sadly enough, I too have been suckered into something similar. At a previous job, a supervisor had what appeared to be a folded ten dollar bill (it was actually half of one) that should be periodically leave on the floor outside her cubicle. After one had been caught trying to pick up the infamous ten, they would watch to see who would be greedy enough to reach down and grab it. Would give you a great laugh for the day. Another good one is to Super Glue a quarter to the floor, tile or linoleum and such...

shaggybunz said...

Ha, ha, ha....If that's my 1 million bill missing it would be one hell of a find boggle, mind wrecking thinking where it is..! But Jesus is definitely worth more than that. No there is no price tag for Him.....But what so funny is that I thought money is the root of all evil....Well in this case 1 million is the way to Jesus....It made my day...mwah..

Magickal Housewife said...

LMAO hahahaha That's pretty funny. I need to remember to take my camera with me in strange places because I find funny stuff, too LOL

tanyetta said...

tooo funny!!

Michael Guzzo said...

You're right, it does look real, although I would have thought a $1,000,000.00 bill would've had a picture of Richard Nixon on it.

Kristy said...

I would've picked it up too out of curiosity

iobardis said...

Did anyone else notice the "Secretary of ETERNAL Affairs" signature on the bottom left? :)

chris said...

interesting that there are so many different ploys that all involve money! and very reassuring to know that so many of you would pick it up as well. amybradley, Dr. Boo, Kaytea, So it is written, and Truth Ferrett, loved your stories about similar ruses - especially the falling for it part! Kerrath and iobardisyou are way more observant than i was - and Magical Housewife, i take my camera everywhere. one of the criteria for buying it was it had to fit in the pocket of my jeans!

HamzaSidra said...

hahahaha......you wouldn't have looked like a fool, you would have looked like a kind person who was concerned that someone maybe stupid enough to have lost the note in the first place......

so have you found Jesus yet? :)

Mikeyboog said...

i wish they did make that bill, because if i found it i would go crazy with excitement.

Magali said...

This is funny. Jesus saves huh? And with a million dollar bill. Maybe there was a hidden camera somewhere? Then again if you didn't pick it up the curiosity would have been to great.

Xinerama said...

I would just love to hold a real one. Someone has to have some of the remaining big denomination bills. I'm sure it's probably the CEO of Goldman Sacks, Rupert Murdock, CEO of GM/Chrysler, and probably one of the Rockerfellers.