04 March 2010

roadkill

on my way to work this morning, i killed a small animal. i noticed it appear at the crest of a snow pile by the side of the road. i watched it scamper quickly down the bank. i saw it skitter out into the road, carrying a nut or a cone or something in his mouth. these little creatures are so fast. sometimes by swerving, you invariably hit them. so i stayed the course, slowing a bit and holding my breath. no small thudding sound and i thought he was safe. but a glance in the side view mirror showed the nut careening across the road, without its owner, who lay still, a small receding lump on the road behind me. it was just a squirrel. i don't know why i feel badly - but i do.

40 comments:

Melanie said...

Oh that is so sad! I killed a mouse once and was tore up about it for days. You poor thing!

Ashley Stone said...

oh no! Poor little squirrel. : ( I killed a bunny once like 4 years ago...I still feel guilty.

J said...

It would indeed be a sad day if one did not feel bad after such an incident. Don't beat yourself up too much;it was an accident.

Heavens2Betsy said...

I am sorry you feel bad. Your accident sounds unavoidable. Your description is very raw and honest. For me, there's no such thing as 'just' a squirrel - and, I would feel bad too, albeit briefly. You tried your best to do the right thing and more importantly, you cared x

The villager: said...

It's an unfortunate accident...but not deliberate.

akaqueenj9 said...

So sad. I've hit both a mouse and a rabbit, and belive me, it's far worse the bigger than animal gets (both in sadness & for your car)

inannasstar said...

I ran over a skunk once and it looked right at me when I looked in my rearview mirror. I was majorly disturbed and had nightmares about. I think if you were not affected, that would be worrisome. Light a candle for him/her, I'm sorry.

the girl said...

Now I know where I get it from...

Luna said...

I know just how you feel. I killed puppy once who darted out of his frontyard. I felt so awful, that I offered to bring a new puppy from the ttspca for the owner's little boy. But they ttspca did not approve the adoption as the owner's house was not fenced.
Don't dwell on it too much. Accidents happen.

Kate said...

I understand how you feel - it's hard to avoid those little guys sometimes!

district friend said...

Your feeling of guilt comes from your respect for life in the entire universe . . . that alone means you are forgiven . . .

Little Stewart Family said...

I know it sounds silly, but I have to pray for roadkill whenever I see it, otherwise I cry. It was only a squirrel, but it was a life, and it is sad when you take that little life, especially when you tried to avoid it. Those little guys just can't seem to get out of the way sometimes, and it's not your fault. If it makes you feel any better, my Mother-in-law hits them on purpose because she read one day in the paper that there were too many squirrels.

mia said...

I am always in fear of animals darting across the road. We always have deer in my neck of the country. Nothing so frightening as seeing one dart across the road only to be followed by 5 others. I have hit small animals, and it is worse when you see them struggle after they have been hit. We are all God's creatures, so sadness is in order.

Supermom said...

At least you didn't cry and make your husband get out in the dark and try to find the pour creature to save it, as I did when I hit a raccoon.

Kisma said...

I have been there as well and it does suck but one of those things we don't do on purpose. Kudo's for slowing down at least.

Bill said...

We have a miniature dachsund named Olivia, and when danger comes, she just stops and crouches down facing it. She makes no attempt to run. Sigh...

Last weekend we were driving to the lake at night and I could see something in the road ahead - it was a baby racoon blinded by the headlights, crouching down facing me. It looked just like our dog! I swerved and missed him - whew! I wish the little animals stayed safely in the woods. I wake up at night still, seeing that little face looking at me in the car. I know it's sad when you hit one.

Matt Conlon said...

Several years ago, the car my wife and I were driving started squealing when we stepped on the brakes. Not uncommon, we just need a break job. Nothing I couldn't handle, or so I thought...

Anyway, I got the wheel off, and began replacing the break pads, only to find that the squealing was the clump of gray fur that was lodged between it and the rotor. Turns out my wife'd hit a squirrel...

As it turned out, I'd bought crappy rotors and had to bring the car in anyway. I'd considered finding that fur and wedging it back in there for the mechanic, but it'd been blown away by the wind by that point. Such is life.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I understand the feeling, and I sympathize.... But meanwhile, we have squirrels totally wrecking the "squirrel-proof" birdfeeders and I said just this morninig, "If I had a BB gun I'd shoot the blankety-blank squirrels." I wouldn't, of course, but I'm not too pleased with them just now.

Janie B said...

I'm sorry. You can't help but feel badly about it. But, you tried to miss it.

hellomynameiszen said...

As unfortunate as this was, it was unavoidable whether it was an accident or lay in the critters fate. The philosopher Epictitus would say that you should not worry of things beyond your control.

Remember, nature has its own designs, and all things return from whence they came.

Evangeline said...

aww.. i hope you're feeling better now.. it's alright it was just an accident :(

www.evangeline-ej.blogspot.com

Tabor said...

Glad you are on Blogs of Note and glad that I found you!

lauren scheuer said...

It's an awful feeling. I appreciate your capturing and describing a moment we've all experienced.

Willy said...

Similiar situation happened to me too, but I was snow skiing, and the little squirrel thought he could make it across the snowy path.....but alas my ski tips got him first.
he twitched, I cried. he died.

coachswoman said...

My dog was hit 3 days ago by a car on the highway...she was actually not even on the highway proper, but on the shoulder close to the grassy area. The car was making a u-turn and hit her. They didn't stop and check on her or anything. I pray that she died instantly. She was with me for 12 years and my heart is completely broken. I lived alone and had only my dog for that period of time, so we were very close. She was my family. I haven't yet stopped crying but I know that I will soon. The grieving process....

I don't know why I felt inclined to post that here except that the post is titled road kill....

Tarah said...

Im a new follower, I think your pictures are amazing and so good. Check out mine!

Tarah

nichole peyreigne said...

That is so sad! I totally know how this feels though- unfortunately there is nothing you can do to prevent these things besides ride bikes instead of drive cars haha. Anyway, awesome blog btw :)

Regan said...

I ALWAYS feel sad when I hit an animal (even a squirrel). I'm sure that it is just a testament as to how soft-hearted I am...but I can't help it. So, know that you are not alone!

archangel394 said...

Once when I was still working for the parks department, while removing tulip bulbs... I stomped on a mouse by accident and killed the little guy.

Sly said...

I'm so sorry. I hit a little chipmunk once and everytime I go around that corner I remember that sad little thump.

CryingJacks said...

cause secretly you think they're adorable

Lazaro Cooks! said...

A cat took a header into my front bumber on a dark night a few months ago. It truly just appeared out of the darkness. Made me very sad because I own 4 cats that I saved from around my 'hood.

Carly's creation said...

Ohhh thats sad!! I killeda mouse once and i was sad about it for a cupple of days!! You poor thing you must be hurt really bad becausw where you killed the littlw animail!! But it is going to be ok!

Jill C. said...

So sad! I would feel exactly the same way!

CraigDavis said...

it's sooo cute!! you are a very talented phtographer!

sherry said...

I'd feel sad too. But on the bright side, that is a really cute photo.

chris said...

thanks for all the thoughts and interesting comments. dead animals on the roads around here are a daily occurrence. i'm just sorry i contributed to it. but it sounds like i am not alone. to all of you who have hit (or lost) domestic animals or pets, i am truly sorry. losing a dog and losing a chipmunk are not even remotely the same...

alexis said...

Of course you will feel something, unless you are a sociopath... it's a life, little that it might be, you took a life... I know what that feels like, had a terrible mishap with a creature in 06, still haunts me to this day, their innocence is the heart breaker. Alexis

Imustbecrazy! said...

It sounds just like you are describing a similar incident that happened to me while driving to work one morning. It was a fast moving rodent with a long body, maybe a muskrat or otter that ran out in front of me and not a morning goes by since then that I see that spot and don't feel a twinge of sadness and remorse for it.

sandra bey said...

Hello there,

You are a kind hearted person,when any breathing thing stops breathing you will feel saddness. You did try to avoid it.