06 June 2013

almost the end

a week from tomorrow will be my last day of school. my last last day of school. i've had forty last days now, and there will be no more.

some of my students tell me retiring is the same as quitting, and i wonder if, in some respects, they are right. in an odd way, i feel a bit like i'm giving up on my profession - not on kids, just on the the way they're guided through the education process. i have always tried so hard to make learning fascinating, fun and joyous for kids, as it is for me, and i'm just not convinced that's happening any more. sometimes i feel responsible, like i should stick around and try more, try harder. and sometimes i feel like i should just move on and attempt to find a better way. clearly, i have chosen the latter and, at this point, there's no turning back. but i can't help but wonder if i'm doing the right thing.

i have taken a part time position that involves children and books, two elements that are a huge part of my present job. although this position will be very different than what i'm doing now, i am hoping having those two constants will help make my transition easier. 

as i blogged last fall, i am not a fan of change. i've been trying hard to be excited about this next stage of my life, and i hope and trust i eventually will be. but for this next week, i think things might just be a little scary and uncertain. and, most likely, a little bit sad. 

6 comments:

Star said...

Sounds like an important, challenging and yet exciting time of your life. Your new engagement with kids and books probably will give you the opportunity to share your love of learning, which is the most important part, without the drudgery of grading and meetings. Sounds like a win-win situation to me. Thanks for sharing.

Tabor said...

Change is inevitable and must be accepted and worked through. Those who do not change break. As those kids if they have ever taken up a sport and then stopped playing. Is that quitting or moving on to something else???

Cindi Summerlin said...

I think that following your heart is the most important thing and it sounds as if you are following your heart. Perhaps this new adventure will be just the thing for you. Be brave, be happy ... because you will be.

Mimsie said...

Happy retirement, and all the best as new doors open!

Udita Banerjee said...

At the end of the day, your profession is 8 hrs of your day. Who you are, are the other 16! This new shift will just be a third of your time! And you'll feel better instantly, as soon as you begin. Transition is the worst bit. Best of luck, keep teaching!

marie grady palcic said...

congrat1ulations!! i understand the feeling, it's not easy. i hope you get to embrace the change, taking little steps, looking for the good stuff that "retiring" let's you see and do. i retired after 34 yrs, on march 31 and it was very weird at first. since my busiest time of the year always was fall-to-Christmas, i expect it will be even weirder come september and i am not doing it again, for the 35th time. i am sure you'll have even bigger back to school pangs, but i hope we both feel the freedom over-riding the loss of familiarity. we can do this! chris, wishing you the very best!